How to behave when Babies visit your workplace — a generic male perspective
It often happens in a quaintly busy workplace, a mom would bring her baby for a visit/showing. For the working male clan, with typical tendencies and not-so-hidden insecurities, interactions may seem a worth a cringe and excuses are exercised to walk away, heavily.
On behalf of all them remarkable oddballs… Salute!
And here goes some tipsy tips below.
Tip1: Stay away from ‘it’ for as long as possible, but make sure you drop by into the gathering before ‘it’ leaves.
Tip 2: Fix the squint, wash it off your face, be smiley, but not too much. If the mom knows you well from before, try to pick up a conversation, not about anything prior though -purely about the baby.
Tip 3: If the visit is pre-arranged, research nice remarks beforehand to say. Again, all about the baby & his/her mother. If you are a dad yourself, turn all your shocking memories and horrid tales of parenthood around; into positive and inspirational quotes. For example, if you hadn’t had a drop of sleep for ages, don’t ever reveal how you’ve switched rooms by day 2 but, go on about how the sleeplessness of the baby had made your marriage stronger and s#$@. Plain faced, deliver as if not a lie.
Tip 4: Absolutely positively and most importantly don’t hold the baby unless you are confident and totally comfortable in doing so. Mind that holding needs be followed up with tasks like rocking ‘it’ gently while talking in chime, keeping the balance and try getting the baby at ease. A heavyweight responsibility out and out.
Tip 5: Watch out for the baby’s expression and be a pessimist with your judgement of it. There is a very little, sub-subtle difference between ‘it’ to fancy a cradling and fidgeting for a poop. Avoid taking part in a grouped photograph. Much likely that the baby would look at you like an unpleasant rash or something worse — in something that lasts permanently.
Tip 6: Don’t ask too many direct questions to mum. It might open a condensed can of (epic) saga on the face of which, it is hard to doze off or look uninterested.
Tip 7: Time your stay, make sure you slide off before the topic of conversation hits ‘Birthing details’ and all things associated with it. Evacuate as an urgency, ok even if you have to fake a bowel movement.
All in all, don’t sweat over it too much. No, I mean really, ‘profuse perspiration’ doesn’t bear any advantages in situations this like, or others in general.
